I have been preparing for the Camino for almost a year now. I have been working out, researching what to take on the Camino, packing, unpacking & repacking my pack, reading memoirs & guidebooks for the Camino, shopping & bothering sales clerks at REI, and I know there are still dozens of things I need to do to be prepared.
My physical preparation has consisted of walking at least 5 days a week for anywhere between 2-8 miles, two cardio/strength classes, and a yoga class. I resolved to up my game this current month by walking 5-8 miles each day.
What is it they say about good intentions and a road to hell?
Six weeks ago I quit going to the gym, but I was still walking a couple of days a week. Then 3 weeks ago I stopped doing even a small amount of walking. In fact I’ve hardly left my house for the last three weeks. Every day I put clothes out to go to the gym or I promise myself I will at least take my little dog out for a walk, but I don’t do any of those things. I think I have hit the proverbial wall.
But maybe I’m turning a corner on that. Two days ago I ran into one of the women from my cardio class and she seemed to happy to see me. She asked about my trip and I had to tell her we haven’t left yet. Then I started telling her how I had stopped all my training and don’t even leave the house unless I absolutely have to. It was just pouring out, but at least I didn’t cry. She didn’t judge or try to minimize my fears. She just told me I was missed and she wanted me to come back to class.
So today I went back to the gym. I was greeted by so many people who thought I had been gone on the Camino and wanted to hear all about my adventure. I didn’t know what to say.
So I confessed.
And then class started. I worked and ran and lifted weights and made it through the hour.
I think that confessing and being vulnerable in that community of great women gave me strength to keep going. I don’t know that I’ve completely broken down the wall, but I definitely think a few bricks were loosened.
Confession is good for the soul.
And the feet
And the legs
And the arms
And the back