I CHANGED MY MIND

I am convinced that every woman who has ever been pregnant with her first child has said sometime in her 8th month, “I changed my mind. I’m not going to do this.” But of course by then it’s too late. That baby is on her way and there’s no getting out of getting her out.

I changed my mind. I’m not doing this camino. Of course as much as I want to say that, I can’t because it’s too late.

Tickets have been bought.

Reservations have been made.

Equipment has been bought, discarded, lost, replaced, and packed.

Questions have been pondered, discussed, researched, and worried over.

Miles have been walked.

Lunges, squats, and crunches have been done.

Blisters have rubbed raw and healed.

Sunburns have peeled and been soothed.

Muscles have been stretched and eased.

Ankles, knees, and backs have been iced and rubbed.

Prayers have been offered up.

As I look over all these reasons why I can’t back out I’m most struck by the second half of the list. Sure a lot of money has been invested, but I’m realizing how much I’ve invested in me…my body, my mind, and my spirit.

I suppose I could still change my mind, but I don’t really want to. I started my camino almost a year ago and I’m not done yet.

Published by michelleperram

I am me, a person with love for others, a passion to be creative, and a desire to be a cheerleader for others. I’m a wife, a mommy, and a grandma (you can call me by my grandma name “Lady M”). I’m on a search to grow and connect more fully with God. I didn’t grow up particularly church, married a man who had, and we raised our three daughters in the church. I found a place to belong in the church and somehow discerned a call to go to seminary. I received a Masters of Arts and Religious Communication (MARC). I went on to become ordained as a deacon in the United Methodist Church and served in media ministry and Christian education. As clergy I found that I didn’t have a place to belong in the church so I left the United Methodist Church in 2010. I still believe and I’m still on a quest to draw closer to God. And I’m going to walk the Camino de Santiago.

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