January 20, 2022
Ash Wednesday falls on my birthday this year. Usually it falls during Lent. I know because for a long time I gave up chocolate for Lent and my family would buy me the best chocolate cake to celebrate. I would generously give huge pieces out at my birthday dinner and then carefully freeze the rest of it. This was before I learned that Sundays in Lent were not meant for fasting because Sunday marks the resurrection and is therefore a feast day. The forty days of Lent are calculated excluding Sundays. Anyway even though Lent is several weeks away today I was pondering the resurrection. Actually to be more precise I’ve been pondering the crucifixion.
Life can be difficult. People who love us often show that love in ways that are difficult to comprehend. Society in love issues changing directions on who we should be. Feelings of being inadequate next to a sibling or told we don’t measure up and should take a less fulfilling path in life because that’s all we are capable of are as crushing as Jesus’ crucifixion.
Completing two caminos feel like resurrection moments. There is a death in surrendering to taking the walk. Every step brings a range of joy, pain, and sorrow much like the Apostles’ Creed when we say that Jesus descended to the dead. What was Jesus doing during those three days before Easter Sunday? Some say he was preaching the gospel to the dead so all could be saved even those who have gone before us. Those who walk the Camino de Santiago, whether for spiritual reasons or not are transformed. Isn’t arrival in Santiago de Compostela like a resurrection?
So why do I still feel as though I’m still awaiting the resurrection…my resurrection? Finishing those two caminos seem like I should feel resurrected. Or were they part of the process of moving through from crucifixion to resurrection? Was my arrival in Santiago de Compostela my resurrection or an invitation to step into my resurrection?
I know that something new is being birthed within me. That seems funny as my girls are all grown and I have five grandchildren now. My human birthing days are long behind me. And yet…
Note: I have struggled these last few months to find something within myself to write and today this came to me. I don’t know if these words have any meaning to you all. They do feel profoundly imprinted upon me and I need to write them here. I pray that they will have some impact.